PUBLIC NOTICE

	It has come to my attention that the ladies all got together and agreed, “Let’s give it to every guy on the planet except _________________. Don’t anybody give it to him.”
	Another said, “Let’s tell him we don’t want him because he’s always in a bad mood, as if he’d believe we can’t figure out why he’s always in a bad mood.”
	Another suggested, “Here’s where even the guys can help us taunt him. People can pretend they want to offer friendly, helpful advice, that he should get professional help!”
	Another giggled, “Oh, yes, like ‘You can’t have a lady in red, but you can have the men in the white suits.’”
	Another chuckled, “More like, ‘There’s something wrong with you if you don’t enjoy being left out.’”
	Another laughed, “That and, ‘You’re crazy if you think you should be able to get a date like the other guys.’”
	Another suggested, “How about, once in a blue moon, somebody will give it to him, but instead of having a good time, like it ought to be, she’ll act like he’s imposing on her, like she volunteered to be a human sacrifice and she’s going through the worst day of her life because she’s giving it to him and not some other guy. That way, he’ll feel even worse than if he got nothing at all.”
	Some of your previous victims turned to drugs to try to cope. Some were unable to cope, but not I. I will survive, and I will respond by being the biggest asshole you’ve ever known. I will be an asshole to everybody, including the guys, who go around bragging about what they got, just to piss me off. Maybe I’ll figure out how to set fire to a coalbed in Antarctica, to melt the ice cap, which will flood coastal cities worldwide, and cause massive earthquakes due to the redistributed mass.
	The first lady who breaks the boycott will get a lot of affection I’ve been bottling up, that nobody else would accept. Everybody else: Reap what you sow.
©Tom Alciere